The School Conspiracy Theory

The Truth About Holidays

As you probably all are rejoicing now, thinking that FINALLY, it's the school holidays and we've all gotten off the hook [for the month at the very least] and can finally take a breather, we can take time, take stock, smell the flowers and take in the view of our lives that fly by in a flustered floozy during the school term. Well, we, the investigators at TheSchoolConspiracyTheory certainly DO agree and believe that the holidays are indeed a time of much needed rest and relaxation, but is that all? Is there more to holidays than the seemingly innocent front of giving students a break ever so often? Join us as we delve into the deeper, and reveal the darker secrets.

As we have mentioned in earlier articles, TheSchoolConspiracyTheory has uncovered the truth about schools, that they are in fact facilities fun by mercenary governmental organizations to tap Brain Energy from unsuspecting students. Why then, are we given school vacations, ranging between one and six weeks?

We do not deny the merits of school vacations. After all, we know how tired and hoe desperate students are for rest at the end of each ten-week term at school. Students need time to recharge, because when frustration and fatigue sets in, and students are driven to the point of Almost-Depression, Energy Production levels fall sharply. That is bad sign number one for the EA. Furthermore, with students on the brink of mental breakdowns, the EA could lose important sources of Energy Creation should students tip over and end up with clinical depression, or if they stay away from school on MC or with the help of a parents' letter. That is bad sign number two. The third bad sign comes in the form of a Counter-Energy that does more harm than good, but TheSchoolConspiracyTheory has yet to explore this aspect of Energy Creation closely.

But more than that, we have to examine closely what closely precedes and follows the so-called school vacation, and to suit our current holidays, let us examine this in context of the June holidays. For most schools, both Primary and Secondary, there are Mid-Year Examinations in the lead-up to the holidays, and as aforementioned in our earlier publication, Examinations and Tests are a means of harnessing immense quantities of Energy as the papers are designed to spike Brain Wave patterns that prove to be the most useful in generating useable Energy. The same applies for the week following the four-week break, which then witnesses student in Junior Colleges going through their version of the Mid-Year Examinations and its variations that hide behind euphemisms such as Block Tests and June Common Tests. True, in the case of Junior College students, the holidays are a source of much-needed time for revision, but this just serves all the more to the purposes of the Energy Authority -- the more students know, the more they will think and answer the papers along the lines of what is required of them to produce the optimal amount and type of Brain Energy, and the more the EA stands to gain.

But the collection of Energy is fine and dandy, how does that lead to, or how is that reason for giving us holidays, you might ask. After all, the more they keep students at school, the more they stand to gain in terms of higher Energy Yields, right? WRONG.

Our Girls' School Correspondent has recently brought to our attention her latest findings, that whilst sitting in a Geography class, she has noted that our major holidays coincide with the monsoon seasons of the South-East Asian region; with the South-West Monsoon in June and the North-East Monsoon in the November/December months. This has led our experts to the realization that students are kept out of schools in the holidays for the reasons of conservation of energy.

We must realize that although having students in school is an extremely lucrative means of attaining large amounts of Energy, it is a highly costly one in terms of energy consumption as well. This explains why rooms at schools, when not in use, are usually locked up and students are constantly reminded to switch off all lights and fans when not in use. The more Energy that is saved, the higher the net amount of energy produced.

However, when the monsoon season rolls around, the demand for Energy is exemplified. Monsoon seasons mean constant rain, and when its rainy and cloudy, it gets dark indoors, and when this happens, millions of households across the country switch on the lights, leading to immense jumps in the overall use of energy. As such, it is of utmost that any unnecessary outflow of energy needs to be stemmed. Lets go back to what this writer has mentioned earlier on in this article about Examinations. The lack of new Energy creation during the holidays will have already been compensated for by the onslaught of examinations on the minds of students. By this cunningly crafted and precise planning, the EA manages to fulfill its primary goal of attaining the highest possible yield of energy -- the over-compensation of energy production prevents the compromise of energy levels during the peak period caused my monsoon seasons.

In this story, everyone is happy. The people at home, switching on their lights as the rain falls outside, and the EA definitely is happy too, being completely smug and patting themselves on their back, congratulating themselves for yet another well thought out plan. The average students are happy, going around blissfully unaware of the world of TheSchoolConspiracies. But YOU know, YOU are now privy to the diabolical plans of the EA and the Government. YOU know the true purpose of Examinations, and the purpose of the school holidays that you so often spend your weeks looking forward to. Students are being mindlessly exploited as YOU read this, right this very instant. And they are completely unaware of this. This, is what we seek to change.